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 My Right To Be Jealous [M], Lenny Neroni
Lenny Neroni
 Posted: Apr 27 2017, 05:04 PM
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Stranger
Caturae


It was going to be so strange, but the best kind of strange, getting used to the fact that things with Kyler wouldn't just be a one time thing. The shower had been amazing, maybe the best Lenny had ever had - and one of the best aspects was that it could happen again. It could happen whenever they wanted, whenever they like it. It was mind boggling.

Lenny shuffled so he was curled against Kyler, letting himself be pulled to rest against his chest. He settled to lie in a position halfway between being on his side or stomach, draping an arm over Kyler's chest to lean his head against, giving Lenny the perfect position for eye contact while also being incredibly comfortable.

It was also the perfect position for Kyler's hand in his hair. If there was anything not directly sexual that would make Lenny's brain stutter to a halt, it was that. He let out a low sigh, his eyes fluttering closed, giving in to the sensation. It felt so good.

"I'd like that." he managed to say, brain slow as he searched for words. "This is really great..."

He angled his head up, glassy, blissed out gaze meeting Kyler's in a frown after the moment of silence had passed. "Something no-one knows?" he echoed, growing a little confused as he struggled to think of something. He wasn't entirely sure he knew what Kyler meant. "No-one... like not anyone?" he paused, frowning more intensely, the attempts to think of something evident in his eyes as he looked back at Kyler. "I dunno... I.... what do you mean? Um. I don't know if there is anything. I mean, do you have one? Something only you know?" he asked, his tone tentative, reflecting the question back on Kyler not to get out of answering, but hoping an example might help him think of an answer himself.
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Kyler Landon
 Posted: Apr 27 2017, 08:18 PM
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Stranger
Ry


Secrets could be dangerous things. They could eat away a person’s mind if they were dark enough, they could lead to paranoia and depression, or they could be bonding under the right circumstances. Kyler had a lot of things that he did not talk about with people, things that he didn’t want others to know because of how they might use it against him. The blonde liked to know things about others but was very rarely willing to divulge the aspects of his own life because he thought it made him less susceptible to being manipulated or blackmailed or anything like that.

The question he had asked Lenny had not been an attempt to draw out some deep dark secret or anything so malicious but he was curious. In truth, there wasn’t much he really knew about Lenny and he wanted to change that. The answer he had been given was a bit disappointing but he didn’t let it show in his face or his movements, he just let it sink in. So, nothing had come to mind and the question was now directed at him. He frowned in thought.

“I tell Tony pretty much everything.” It was true, the mime was privy to hearing about everything in Ky’s life whether he wanted to hear it or not. Of the top of his head the only thing he hadn’t expressed to Tony was his feelings for Lenny but that was out now and the reason he hadn’t said anything prior was because Kyler himself didn’t understand them. Was there anything else that he hadn’t told his best friend that was also worth sharing with Lenny? “Something only I know…” He stared searchingly at the ceiling as the answer might be written there.

Trying to think of something was bringing forward too many thoughts and bits and pieces of memories. There were a bunch of things he hadn’t shared with Lenny yet, things that he would need to know eventually. Finally, he shrugged and glanced quickly at the other and then back at the ceiling. “I guess that I kinda have been missing my parents.” He knew Lenny didn’t know the story behind what happened with Kyler and his parents so the statement was probably confusing but it was something. The blonde didn’t offer any further explanation about what he’d said either as the remark was slightly surprising to himself too. He shifted underneath Lenny, chancing another glance in the other’s direction. “So, if you don’t have anything no one else knows what’s something you don’t tell most people.” Second best, but he had shared so he wanted Lenny to too.
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Lenny Neroni
 Posted: Apr 28 2017, 01:14 PM
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Stranger
Caturae


Lenny was stuck on the literalness of Kyler's question, the technicality of no-one else being aware. He definitely didn't have less than his fair share of secrets but certain other people were usually aware, even if only people who were directly involved in said secret. His parents, for example. He hadn't told anyone in Lochland Grove the circumstances of his leaving home, but his parents still knew what had happened.

He listened to Kyler instead, his gaze watchful and curious, looking at Kyler as the blonde thought about it. Lenny looked away when Kyler mentioned parents, his gaze drifting to the blankets pulled over them. He assumed that Kyler simply meant he hadn't seen his parents since visiting Tony from his confession, that they lived near him in New York and being in Lochland had bought him away from them. He bit at his lip slightly, stirred out of his thoughts on his own parents by another question.

Lenny's head tilted to the side and he frowned slightly. "Uh..." He thought, or tried to think, of something. His brain was feeling drowsy and sluggish. A thought came to him and his mouth fell open in surprise that it hadn't occurred to him before. He started off with his voice sleepy, but not too self-conscious, too pleased to have thought of something. As he went on, he started mumbling, his gaze lowering to Kyler's chest as he spoke.

"I... I guess there is something I haven't told anyone. I've been thinking, I mean, I don't really like my jobs, I kinda.. don't really like working at all, but I just... the bakery, it's so shit working there. So, I kinda... I've been thinking about what I'd need to do to get my GED, because that's what every other job I tried to apply for wanted me to have, so... if I wanna have other options, I kinda have to get it. My - my GED." He frowned, his anxiety suddenly hitting him through his tired haze. He blinked a few times, stuck for words, tensing up and his expression draining to one of mild panic. "But - it's probably stupid. I wasn't even really thinking about it." He quickly bit out, suddenly very aware of Kyler thinking he was stupid. He kept his gaze on Kyler's chest while he avoided eye contact. He wanted to look up, wanted to see if Kyler's eyes would betray his feelings on whether Lenny was stupid or not, a glimmer of hope within him that maybe it wouldn't be there, but he was too scared to look in case it was.

"I... are you gonna visit your parents when you go back home to New York?"" He asked instead, an obvious attempt to try and change the subject.
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Kyler Landon
 Posted: Apr 28 2017, 02:49 PM
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Stranger
Ry


What Ky didn’t think about was that not everyone shared his opinion of keeping secrets. Honestly, there were too many things that were secrets for him either because he shared most everything with Tony but there were still a few things that didn’t get told to the mime. It wasn’t a huge deal if Lenny couldn’t think of anything because it was just the most general question the blonde could think of that would provide him with somethings he didn’t know about his boyfriend. That was the goal, just getting to know Lenny better.

Having rephrased his question and giving his own answer he wondered how Lenny might respond but he didn’t have to wait too long. He had known that Lenny didn’t like working at the bakery and that he wasn’t happy there but he was surprised by the fact that Lenny hadn’t had his GED; though it did make some sense. “But - it's probably stupid. I wasn't even really thinking about it.” Realizing the panic in his boyfriend’s voice he squeezed the man’s hand in a reassuring manner. “I... are you gonna visit your parents when you go back home to New York?” It was Lenny’s way of avoiding his GED.

“That’s not stupid.” He wasn’t judging Lenny, he didn’t know why the other hadn’t graduated and he didn’t want Lenny to feel like he couldn’t tell him things. He wanted to be supportive. “I think if you really wanted to you could get your GED, and it’d be a good place to start if you want a new job.” He just had to want it and, of course, Kyler would help if and where he could.

Ky hadn’t forgotten Lenny’s question about his parents either, and while he didn’t necessarily want to get into what happened with them he didn’t want to avoid Lenny’s question. “And I can’t go visit them, I don’t know where they are.” He sighed as the words left him. He hadn’t been concerned with anyone in his family for years and he wasn’t sure why it was bothering him now but it had been on his mind. “Haven’t talked to them in… six or seven years… it’s been a while.” The exact time frame wasn’t horribly relevant.
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Lenny Neroni
 Posted: Yesterday at 03:21 pm
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Stranger
Caturae


Talking about his abilities, or what Lenny perceived as a lack of them, was not a good or easy subject for him. It was just as well that he was tired, his brain fried for more than one reason, in a dozy headspace that made it easier for him to open up. It still didn't mean it came easy, his body still tensing, his mind still panicking through the comfortable feeling, but it meant he didn't just shut it down. The process between his thinking and speaking was shorter than usual.

He sighed, conflicted, slipping his face off his arm and burying it against Kyler's chest, exhaling deeply from his nose. Kyler's hand squeezed his and it just made him want to hide even more. It was nice, but it also made him feel silly, weak. His sleepy frown stayed in place, his eyes open and staring down at Kyler's chest as he processed what Kyler said, still avoiding eye contact. His pulse slowed when what Kyler said was actually nice, but it was still a sensitive topic for Lenny and he didn't truly relax again until they'd moved back to Kyler's parents.

Then, just like that, his worries about his qualifications were forgotten when Kyler revealed how long it was since he'd spoken to his parents. Lenny's head shot up, no longer avoiding eye contact, and he stared at Kyler with wide eyes. "Six or seven years? Fuck... Are they... are they missing... or something?" he asked, quick to assume why they'd be estranged for so long, putting Kyler not knowing where they were and the length of time spent apart together to make an answer befitting a plot on a crime drama show rather than reality.

His mouth closed and he frowned, glancing away. "I miss mine too, sometimes... it's complicated." He mumbled, his mouth pulling to the side. He shifted, getting comfortable against Kyler, fitting their bodies together. he squeezed Kyler's hand. "And... I dunno. About my GED, I mean... I -" He sighed, biting at his lip, the topic obviously a difficult one, though not as difficult as his own parents, one that was littered with even more insecurities and one that he wasn't willing to talk about yet. While Kyler might not have thought Lenny getting his GED was stupid, the main issue was that Lenny thought it was. "I don't know. I don't even know what kind of job I'd want to get anyway." He said, his voice drifting with sleep, the unsaid concern written across his face instead - that he might not pass the test. He hated tests. His driving test had been bad enough and that was when he knew how to drive. He really didn't think he'd be able to pass his GED or even know what half the questions were asking if he went to take it. "I dunno what I want to do."

He started drawing lazy circled on Kyler's chest with his thumb, watching through heavy-lidded eyes. He yawned. "How'd you know you wanted to do modelling stuff?" His gaze drew up to Kyler's face, squinting in an effort to get his tired eyes to focus.
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Kyler Landon
 Posted: Yesterday at 06:59 pm
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Stranger
Ry


Sometimes the hardest things to talk about were the most important. Not that realizing that made the actual conversations any easier but still. Ky didn’t talk about his parents because it didn’t matter. His parents had cut him off at the age of nineteen for reasons that he didn’t care much to relay. He had done his fair share of pouting about it but he wasn’t going to let that ruin his perfectly spoiled lifestyle so he figured a way around it and never looked back. Except that now he was looking back on it, only he didn’t know if he was missing them or just the idea of them.

Whatever, he was an adult and he didn’t need his parents. He hadn’t needed them in years and he wasn’t about to let a little nostalgia ruin everything that he had managed to do for himself! But the subject was already out there and Lenny seemed just as frustrated by his own comment that they both kept trying to divert the conversation away from their own statements. “Six or seven years? Fuck... Are they... are they missing... or something?” He shrugged, staring into Lenny’s intense hazel eyes. “Maybe.” His tone was quiet and a bit empty but his eyes were still locked on Lenny’s. “I mean, probably not but I haven’t heard from them in a while so I really don’t know.” He was answering as best he could without going into too much detail. Maybe that wasn’t fair, after all, he was the one who started the questions.

“I miss mine too, sometimes... it's complicated.” He wanted to ask why it was complicated but he hadn’t even told his own story and something in him said now wasn’t the time to dig into Lenny’s parents. The subject of Lenny’s GED was uncomfortable enough for his boyfriend. Ky continued combing his fingers through the other’s hair once he had settled back down. “If you think too much about it you’ll just get overwhelmed.” He was trying to be helpful but maybe that wasn’t the right way. “How'd you know you wanted to do modelling stuff?” His pride answered that question before he had a chance to stop it. “Because, look at me.” He was basically made to be in front of a camera and he had the attitude for it too. “I mean…” Let’s try that aga- Lenny’s phone began making noise from whatever pocket of his pants it had been stuffed in.

Ky was closer and Lenny was a little more than half asleep so the blonde shifted a bit, grabbed the pants, retrieved the phone, and tossed the pants back to the end of the bed as he got comfortable again. Without a second thought that it wasn’t his phone Ky opened the notification and frowned heavily at the screen. “What’s ‘grinder’? And who is this?” He questioned, showing the phone to Lenny. The notification had been some message on whatever ‘grinder’ was from some guy who ‘had a great time last night’. The blonde had his suspicions but he was hoping he was wrong.
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