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 The Lochland Times, Edition 23
Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Apr 13 2017, 04:49 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 23Lochland's Most Reliable NewsApril 2017
Romaine Calm: Food and Beer Festival
Lochland Special Report
Everyone loves food, and not just as a staple for living. What is a movie without popcorn or a hot summer day without lemonade? What of neighborhood barbecues, romantic dinners, and ice cream socials? What of the puns!?

From April 21st to April 23, Lochland Grove will be celebrating all things food with a stomach-pleasing Food and Beer Festival. The Lochland Times is proud to say it has the scoop on this new town event. Lettuce be your guide.

April 21 - 23, 2017

Friday: 5pm – 10pm
Saturday: 12pm – 10pm
Sunday: 10am – 5pm

Unity Park

Weekend $40
One Day $25

Weekend $50
One Day $35

CHILD (age 5-12) Weekend $15
One Day $10

Everyone is welcome to the food festival, located on the west side of Unity Park, but if a person is over 21 they can purchase the Food and Beer Fest pass to attend both West and East sides of the festival. Kids that are 4 and under get in for free. Kids ages 5 to 12 can participate in games and other fun activities in the Kids section of the food festival, located south of the entrance.

Beer Masterclasses and Cooking Classes will be offered to interested parties in the big blue tent, located in the center of the festival. Tickets for the classes can be purchased at all gates.


Located on the West side of Unity Park, the Food Festival features businesses from all over Lochland County. Every small plate is made to get a taste of Local talent, and there is a variety to try. Food themed games, such as dunking for apples, can be found near the Children's area.

With three days to savor, the Food Festival has divided the weekend up into Breakfast,

-Lunch, and Dinner. Both food and activities will change to compliment the theme including a food eating contest!

Devour hotdogs, pies, and pancakes galore to the delight of throngs of screaming fans. A select group of skilled eaters convene to eat for 10 minutes straight, stopping for nothing—not ketchup, not syrup, not even whipped cream!

-Friday: Lunch -
The first day of the Food Festival is devoted to Lunch. A meal defined as a small or midsized meal eaten at mid day. Expect to see plenty of sandwiches, wraps, and other lunch items waiting for your consumption.

Don't miss the Hot Dog Eating Contest! It is sure to be a filling experience. Meet at 7pm to participate. The Competition begins at 7:30pm.

-Saturday: Dinner -
The longest day of the Food Festival is devoted to Dinner, the biggest meal of the day. We hope that everyone comes with an appetite.

Interested in sweet treats? Why not sign up for the Pie Eating Contest? Meet at 5pm to participate. The Competition starts at 5:30

-Sunday: Breakfast-
The Food Festival opens early, on Sunday at 10am, for Breakfast. The exclusive bacon booth alone will be a mouth watering experience. Try a variety in crispy or chewy and let us know which one is your favorite.

The last day of the festival will include a Pancake Eating Contest! With a combination of steely grit, limber lips and highly expandable stomachs, the competition will indeed be a breakfast of champions. Meet at high noon to participate. The Competition starts at 12:30pm.


For beer geeks and those who want go deep into the craft beer scene, a beer festival is the perfect way to sample a massive amount beer in three to four hours. You’ll get to mingle with other enthusiasts, ask questions of the brewers themselves and wear a charming necklace of hard pretzels if you feel inclined.

If you’ve never been, here’s how it works: You get a small 2 oz. tasting glass that you take around to stations that are serving samples of a brewery’s-

-beer (usually a couple). Multiply that by a hundred, add in a few trips to the bathroom, a break for food and you have the beer festival experience.

Get ready to expand your beer palate! Just remember to bring a photo ID.

No alcoholic beverages can be purchased at the festival. However, you may place orders with any Festival brewery booth.

KIDS Corner

Most of the Food Festival is suitable for all of the family, but the Kid’s Corner is specifically there for our younger festival go-ers.

The kids corner of the Food Festival is focused on making food exciting. Children have the opportunity to be in the kitchen and create something fun to eat. Along with games, the kinds corner has several activity tents to attend.

Kids In The Kitchen :
Youngsters can get their hands into the mixing bowl and enjoy messy foodie fun. Parents can also watch – making sure they pick up plenty of useful tips for lunch boxes, interesting dinners and ways of making nutritious vegetables seem like fun.

Friday: Cucumber Cups
Saturday: Chili Mac
Sunday: Yogurt Parfait

Fun Food:
Sometimes it is fun to play with your food. You child is given a plain looking food and given the tools to dress it up as much as they like. Unleash their inner artist!

Friday: Cookie Decorating
Saturday: Pizza Decorating
Sunday: Pancake Decorating

What else is there?

Edible finger painting
Peep graham cracker houses
Cereal jewelry
Grape toothpick sculptures
And much much more!

Sanitation facilities for keeping little fingers clean are located near each kid-friendly station.


The Lochland times hopes that everyone has a grape time at the Food and Beer Festival. Lettuce celebrate food together. Peas drink responsibly because this Festival can not be Beet.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Apr 13 2017, 04:49 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 23Lochland's Most Reliable NewsApril 2017
Ice Cream Men Have Violent Confrontation in Front of School
Lochland Special Report
A long time fun tradition will never be the same for a group of August Whitemore students after a fight broke out between Ice Cream men last Tuesday in the school parking lot.

Witnesses say that the ‘Ice Cream Dream’ van had been coming to the parking lot for weeks since the warm weather broke. Chase Warner(19) had thought he was working just another day of his part time job when when the‘Tasty Treats’ Ice Cream Van appeared. Reportedly Zachary Rawlings (32), the owner of TT, told Warner to leave, claiming that the school was his route. He then stole ice cream from a girl and spread it over the young-

man’s shirt with a shove that dented the side of the van.

Authorities called the police who broke up the fight and sent both men off the premises. The owner of Ice Cream Dream contacted The Lochland Times to offer an apologetic statement. ”I am troubled by this and apologize to our clients for having to witness that scene. We are supposed to make children happy. Ice cream brings smiles and good memories. A crime scene is not a place for the ice cream man.” When asked who had been their first, the Times was grateful for his honest reply. ” I have been here since 2015, and ’Ice Cream Dream’ will-

-continue to be here for a long time to come. I have never met this Mister Rawlings, but I hope he can find a place of his own to pedal his wares. ” When asked if he would be pressing charges, he said that he would not. Mister Warner was not available to comment.

Mister Rawlings left a message with the times saying he will not be quitting his business and is taking anger management courses so that this will not happen again. He intends to take a different route from the Ice Cream Dream Van and hopes to see his favorite clients at the Food and Beer Fest this month.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Apr 13 2017, 09:31 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 23Lochland's Most Reliable NewsApril 2017
Ask Lochland : Sweet or Savory?
Lochland Special Report
Nina Wallace
"I love all kinds of food in general, and my love for a juicy grilled steak is different from how I love a decadent chocolate cake. However, I think those who know me would agree that I would always prefer sweet over savory. It just gets me excited so easily, and I always look forward to and have room for dessert!"

Danielle Carello
"I'm Italian, so I have a love for both."

Lenny Neroni
"All food is good, but sweet is better because cookies and ice-cream are sweet, right?"

Sabrina Harrison

Casey Wallace
"Somehow if you say food I'm not thinking dessert. Which, if we were talking dessert, I'd say sweet ten out of ten times. Otherwise... I like my soups savory, my barbecue savory, my Chinese food savory. In most every instance when I'm eating, I prefer the savory over the sweet. ...and no mixing. No, no. No Hawaiian pizzas, no strawberries in my salad, and no sugar steaks. Thank you very much."

Preston Marx
"Definitely sweet! I'm not too picky though."

Anastasia Romanos
"Hmmm it depends on the time of day, I guess? I do enjoy savory sometimes. "

Cooper Tanaka
"I prefer Savory, sweet only has one flavor ... sweet but savory can be literally any taste of spice or bland or a mix there in. Like a Pizza... you have the dough it's just dough until you use garlic butter to baste the dough, cover the top with a nice robust tomato marinara, sprinkle it a little with a little salt. Spread the cheese, mozzarella, ricotta and a few dashes of Parmesan just to get it flavored just right. Now here you add the thin slices of pepperoni to add a little spicy to the robust sauce, the taste of cheese, the warm buttery and garlic coated bread. Savory and delicious.

And fun fact, Chocolate prior to being popular as a sweet treat was consumed as a bitter drink filled with spices that were NOT sugar or sweeteners. Mostly for the purposes of libido but still, history."

Nikolai Mozarov
"Hmm. Well, it really depends on my mood. I love a lot of savory foods but occasionally, I do like my sweets. If I have to choose, however, then I would have to go with savory foods. There is a much better variety with them."

Katashi Tanaka
"What? I can't have both? Okay, then if I had to choose I would pick savory food. I usually cook for myself, and I am no master chef. But once in a while I like to go out and eat a good meal, and I usually prefer more savory food. Especially after eating my own cooking for a long time."

Heather Song
"I'd say Savory. Sweets are nice now and then, but I'm all about the Savory when I'm enjoying a big meal."

Kyler Landon
"Savory, I guess. I don't like things if they're too sweet."

Ace Yamada
"How can I choose this? My favorite food is a good chili, but I also love a nice cheesecake. Okay, maybe savory, as there are many more savory dishes I've found that I liked than sweet ones. You ask me if I want steak or cake, I'm gonna pick the steak. Chicken or cobbler, I'm going to pick the bird. Fish or pie, the fish is going to win it. But you ought to know well that I adore baking and decorating my cakes. So, yeah, savory eeks out a bit for the win, but I love both."

Charlotte Williams
"I enjoy savory. Then again I also love sweet things. I love it all!"

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Apr 13 2017, 09:32 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 23Lochland's Most Reliable NewsApril 2017
HUMOR: Two Sentence Stories
Lochland Special Report
Last month I had so much fun researching one sentence stories that I decided to look into two sentence stories. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I have.

My wife thought she knew me.

So funny what people think.

I feel sometimes I’m playing the role of my younger self.

He’s funnier, better-looking and way more interesting.

Wasn’t it funny that I used to joke that you’d be first against the wall when the revolution came?

Before they shot you I swear I saw you laughing.

I thought about it all by myself.

Really, ask everybody..

Two things were playing on his mind.

The first being that they’d misspelt his name on the wanted poster.

I only use the word hate when absolutely necessary.

Don’t you just really hate the word?

She complained to me that her pants made her look fat; I told her it’s not the pants’ fault.

The police never did find all of me.

The Responsible Canidate
A man was interviewing for a job and the interviewer said, “In this job we need someone who is responsible.”

“I’m the one you want,” the man replied,”At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

Cartoon Character
If I were a cartoon character I would like to be someone from Pokemon.

Because they always look so cool and they seem to have perfect hair, and also because then I’d own my very own Pikachu and get it to zap people I didn’t like!

Victory Banquet
Two cannibals fought.

The loser was eliminated.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Apr 13 2017, 09:32 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 23Lochland's Most Reliable News April 2017
Your Horoscope
( March 21 - April 19)
Reach out this month. Be the one to make dates with people, send out e-vites and be sure to be a catalyst for socializing. You are a forced to be reckoned with.

(April 20 - May 20)
If you’ve been simmering about something a friend said or did that now seems deliberately hurtful or passive aggressive, try to have a rational conversation about it before things get out of hand. You could be over dramatizing things.

(May 21 - June 21)
Career and your relationships are the major focus for you. You are at the top of your game. Just keep your eyes on the prize. Don’t lose focus or go off track. It might get boring or you might not feel all your hard work is being noticed, but it is.

( June 22 - July 22)
If you haven’t been paying attention to your checking account balance or credit card statements, you could be due for a rather rude awakening. Take care of it right away or it will only become a much bigger problem.
(July 23 - August 22 )
If a sudden dispute turns nasty and you’re not directly involved, put some distance between you and the situation. There’s no reason to soak up any negative feelings or energies. Excuse yourself and go find some laughter.

(August 23 - September 22)
This is the time to start something new with a friend. Hash out details, make some plans, and get out of the house. Whether it is a business or a hobby, the results will be worth it.

(September 23 - October 22)
This is a socially active month for you and networking is vital. Carry business cards with you and mix and mingle. Something you were born to do and thrive on. It’s all about who you know not so much what you know.

(October 23 - November 21)
If you have the feeling that a certain career-orientated situation is temporarily out of your control, don’t question your own judgment.You’re probably right. Don’t fly off the handle. Wait a bit. This too shall pass.
(November 22 - December 21)
It is time to take better care of your health. The most important thing for you to do is get enough rest, but good exercise and a healthy diet will help put a spring in your step.

(December 22 - January 19)
This month looks to be a turning point in your life, and a time for you to clarify your aims and agenda. What's important is for you to get centered, tie up loose ends from the past, and focus on the future you you want to create for yourself.

(January 20 - February 18)
If you know you’re wrong and owe someone an apology, then do just that. Be gracious in defeat, admit you were wrong a.k.a. mistaken, apologize sincerely and move on. It may help you grow as a person.

(February 19 - March 20)
Boredom is not something you have to worry about at all this month. In fact, you might have more social engagements than you can actually get to - a rare occurrence. Whatever you do, don't burn the candle at both ends as you fire signs are prone to do. You can’t be everywhere at once.
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