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 The Lochland Times, Edition 25
Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:13 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable NewsJune 2017
Paw It Forward: Charity Pet Walk
Lochland Special Report
Local pet shop ‘Chirp Squeak Meow’ and The Lochland Times are proud to announce the return of ‘Paw It Forward’, a charity event to help four legged friends. This year everyones favorite pet shop is organizing a Walk for Animals; a 2.5-mile walk around Unity Park. One June 10th, You and your canine companions will have a great time as we to celebrate our four-legged friends and raise funs needed to ensure that every homeless animal can find a home.

The morning festivities include a scenic 2 mile walk, fun filled doggie activities, and venders.


The Paw It Forward Walk kicks off at 10 a.m. on Saturday, June 10th, at Chirp Squeak Meow. Walkers will walk their way to the beautiful Unity Park then enjoy the scenic paths, ending back at the pet store. The Walk is approximately 2.5 miles total, but you can turn around at any time.

For the safety of your dog and others, we highly recommend not using a retractable leash, but rather a 4’ or 6’ flat leash

Free water will be available to all animals and their humans.



$40 - Adults (ages 18+)
$20 - Children (17 and under)
$10 - Cat Nappers (Individuals who are raising funds but not attending the Walk)

All registered participants will receive a commemorative Paw It Forward T-shirt! T-shirts for Cat Nappers will be mailed after the event.

4 to 8p.m. June 8th
For Convenience, we are providing an early check-in option at two locations:

The Lochland Times
Chirp Squeak Meow

Please bring all of your cash and check donations, along with a completed donator’s tracking form.

Day of:
Check-in opens at 8a.m June 10th and will remain open until ten minutes before the start of the walk.

Free water will be provided to both animals and their humans.

Not A Pet Owner?

Chirp Squeak Meow has several animals that would love to participate in the walk. If you would like to volunteer to be their buddy for a day, please contact the shop for more information.

Vendors And Activities

If you have the time, why not spend it visiting our vendors and participating in fun animal-related activities!

-Flealess Market and food vendors

-Dog Games, featuring games and training tips for your dog

-Hair and face painting

-Animal Humane Society mascots debut

-Chip n’ Nail Clinic: where you’ll find reduced fees for nail trims, microchipping, and gland expressions

-Paw It Forward Walk Merchandise Tent (cash and credit cards accepted)

-Photo booths


Volunteers are needed to make the walk a success. To volunteer please contact Chirp Squeak Meow or The Lochland Times for details.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:16 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable NewsJune 2017
Kitten Season: Helping Our Furry Friends
Lochland Special Report
When you hear the phrase ‘kitten season’, you may conjure images of sweet, fluffy kittens romping happily in a sunny field. After all, kittens are cute. The reasl situation isn’t sweet at all. For shelter workers, kitten season can be the very worst time of year. Kitten season is really three seasons in one, starting in spring, peaking in late spring or early summer, and ending in fall. An estimated 20 million kittens will be born this spring alone. There simply aren’t enough homes for all of them — instead, they overwhelm shelters, which are often taxed for space at the best of times. The Lochland Times has partnered with Chirp Squeak Meow Pet shop to help educate our readers on Kitten Season and what can be done. It is up to us to make a difference for our furry little friends. TRAP-Neuter-Return

Trap-neuter-return (TNR) is a program through which free-roaming cats (not belonging to particular humans) are humanely trapped, sterilized and medically treated, and returned to the outdoor locations where they were found.

13 million kittens are expected to be born in spring alone, and many will come from free-roaming cats. Some cats can be in heat for up to 20 weeks per years. By being a part of a Trap-neuter-return program, you can help cut down on these numbers.


Know what to do if you find one:

-“If you find neonate kittens, don’t scoop them up and take them to the shelter. Leave them where they are and keep an eye on them. It is likely the mother is around, and nobody can care for them like their mom.

-If you see mom, it’s best to let her take care of them until they’re old enough to eat on their own. Otherwise, how long you should wait depends on the age of the kittens. If they're younger than 4 weeks old, don't consider taking them to a shelter unless mom hasn't appeared for about 6 hours. If the kittens are older, perhaps 4 to 6 weeks of age, then wait a day before gathering them up.

Volunteer to Foster

You may want to consider fostering them yourself. Before you do, make sure that you're able to commit to the kittens' needs.

-Is your household appropriate for young kittens? Is everyone you live with accepting of foster kittens? Do you have a space for them that is safe and easy to clean? Are you able to quarantine them from other animals?

-Does your schedule allow for kitten care? Depending on the age and health of the kittens, you may need to be available as often as every 2-3 hours. Will-

-you be able to bring kittens with you to work, or arrange care for them when you are unavailable?

-Do you have the tools and information you need in order to successfully provide care to the kittens? Do you have a mentor, a veterinarian, a rescue coordinator, etc?

IF you can confirm all of this, call your local shelter to see if it has the capacity to take them. The shelter will likely prefer to find a foster family for the kittens, and if that’s the case, you can volunteer as a foster parent. Often, shelters will provide training and other resources.


Even if you don’t find kittens in your neighborhood, the number one way to help shelters manage kitten season is to adopt a kitten or cat during the summer months when the spring kittens are old enough to be placed in homes. Not only do you save a life, you also open up space for the shelter to care for another kitten or cat.

If your home is full, you can still help by encouraging your friends and family members to adopt. You can also make a donation to help life saving programs.

If you would like to be more involved with this Kitten Season, contact Chirp Squeak Meow for more information.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:17 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable NewsJune 2017
4th Annual Charity Ball Announced: Bachelor Sign-Ups Begin.
Lochland Special Report
Beautiful clothes, celebrities, food, and dancing; preparations for the 4th Annual Charity Ball are underway. With the success of past Balls, anticipation is high. Only time can tell who will end up on the auction block.

Last Tuesday the Lochland Grove Town Council Voted on passing this years budget for the event. The committee in charge has yet to announce the venue, menu, or cause, but assures that everything will be as enjoyable as past Balls. Attendees should expect an extravagant 6 course meal, live music, dancing, and elegant surroundings as well as the shining jewel of the night: The Bachelor Auction.


As the Charity Ball’s biggest event, the Bachelor Auction is anticipated to bring in thousands of dollars. All proceeds go to charity. It is a glamorous occasion full of excitement, and run by volunteers. Past Bachelors include Olympian Casey Wallace, Race Car Driver Mathias Falk, and many more.


With preparations underway, Bachelor sign ups are now open. Anyone is welcome to volunteer for the block as long as they are over the age of 21. Applications are available at the Lochland Times..

What does it entail?

- Interaction with the audience is encouraged, but not required.

- Please wear formal attire.

- Show up 30 minutes before the start of the Ball.

- Be aware that this is a date and are expected to treat their date with with courtesy.

- All Bachelors can purchase Charity Ball tickets at a reduced price.

More information shall be available soon. The Lochland Times is excited to be a part of a great cause and looks forward to this years Auction.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:20 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable NewsJune 2017
Ask Lochland : Suggest A Charity For The Charity Ball!
Lochland Special Report
Lenny Neroni
"Uh, I dunno. Is it a charity thing to make clubs or bars free or something? Money sucks, having fun's expensive and everyone needs to be happy and have fun, right? "

Preston Marx
"I'd donate to a lot, I guess if I had to pick a cause I'd lean towards something that benefits the environment."

Jaina Carter
" I've always thought that programs helping to get kids off the street are good ones, seeing as I was one of those kids at one time."

James Jordan
"Wow. There's so many things! I want to say to an animal shelter, or to a homeless charity but it doesn't feel fair to leave the others out. Is there any way to share the money between all the charities? Then they can all get help."

Cooper Tanaka
"If you're asking me I would say to support Cancer Awareness, cancer takes over seven and a half million years annually and in comparison to the United States Defense budget it is given pennies. I believe our community should stand up and come to together or an easy cause that we can all easily stand behind."

Heather Song
"Humane Society or really anything that helps animals out."

Sabrina Harrison
"Donating to the school programs. It is a public service, of course, but the more advancements and opportunities the kids have in town, the more of a service Lochland is to them." Abel Jensen
"Somethin' local? Hmm, I dunno, probably the schools or supporting veterans."

Casey Wallace
"I'm a big believer in reaching out to the kids. The Boys & Girls Club here in Lochland has been trying to reopen their pool for the last several years and are still coming up short with the funds to afford the necessary renovations. They don't need much, and it's right here at home. Hard to imagine that we'd look elsewhere when there's someone right here in town that needs our help."

Ian Stuart
" The local animal shelter can always use support and attention. They take volunteers, but the attention of a big organized even would do them wonders."

Monday West "That sounds fun! I think it'd be nice for the proceeds to go the school. Either for repairs, trips, or just new things for the classrooms, education for our kids is important."

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:20 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable NewsJune 2017
Ask Norma
Lochland Special Report


DEAR NORMA: I recently started living with my boyfriend and he had a problem with leaving both clean and dirty clothes strewn about the floor. It drives me CRAZY, because a) it's a mess and cool.gif they're nice clothes and he's going to ruin them. I've brought it up before so I know he knows it bugs me but he still does it. How can I get him to pick up after himself without 'nagging' him about it? --CLEAN UP YOUR ACT

DEAR CLEAN: Some cases like this are hard to fix, it’s become a habit of his to dump clothes wherever he pleases and not give them a second thought. This has probably gone on long before you were even a part of his life. I can suggest a few things. First being: Do not pick them up. Even if it bothers you, request him to pick them up. It may sound like nagging but asking a man to pick up after himself, a grown man none the less, should not be something you find yourself nagging about. The second being: Do not wash said clothes until he picks them up and places them in the appropriate hamper. As far as his clean clothes go you may have better luck having him keep them up if you work as a team to tackle the laundry load. It isn’t ideal, it will be hard to wrangle a man who is clearly accustomed to either his mother or no one doing such things, but it is high time he learned. I, personally, would take option two.


DEAR NORMA: My grandmother is crazy, and not just in one way. She is constantly abusing medical prescriptions, is paranoid that everyone is out to get her, and enjoys stirring up drama. She has a tendency to pick one person in the family to despise at any given time. It used to be my Uncle, who had never actually wronged her. Now it is suddenly me and my fiance. We have temporarily moved into the same house as her, and she has has been trying to play us against eachother. We have constantly found her telling lies to our extended family that he abuses me or our pets, and even tried to plant false evidence such as opened (unused) condoms around our bedroom. What can I do? I don’t want to wish her ill, but I can’t stand this! --WHYYYYY

DEAR WHYYYYY: Your grandmother sounds like she needs professional help. Her paranoia could be the result of medications or of deteriorating mental health, not only for show. Suggest to her to seek help every time she tries to pull one of her dramatic stir-ups. You can not force her to seek it, but you can take the fuel out of her fire. Make sure to keep strong communication with your fiance, talk about issues, and try to quick your exit. It might be prudent to avoid her when ever possible to help relieve tension. Some people are best loved from a distance.


DEAR NORMA: I am a 73 year old widower, grandmother to six, great grandmother to fifteen, and great great grandmother to three. I am as healthy and active as I have ever been, however I recently lost my husband. I have considered attending classes at the local collage to fill my time. Will it embarrass my great-grandchildren who also attend the university? Should I enroll? - OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

DEAR GOODIE: Kudos to you on your lage family and good health. I am sorry to hear about your husband. Filling your time with college sounds like a great idea! Speak to your great-grandchildren about attending classes and let them know this would make you happy. They may have suggestions for professors.

DEAR NORMA: I work long hours. My job is stressful, and by the time I get home I feel drained. I barely want to stay up and watch a movie, much less engage in any sexual activities with my loving wife. I don’t want her to think I’m ignoring her, what should I do? -- ONE TIRED GUY

DEAR TIRED: It sounds like your high stress job is taking a toll, and you need to cut some of your hours or take a vacation. Family time is important. Make sure to discuss your issues with your wife, and schedule date nights to spend with her. I am certain she will appreciate it.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:23 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable NewsJune 2017
Lochland Special Report
Why Aren’t Dogs…
Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

A: Because they have two left feet!

Great Minds
A couple of dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

“My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee.”

“I know,” says the second owner.

“How do you know?”

“My dog told me.”

A different Feather
Randy the dishwasher repairman was given specific instructions concerning the woman’s two pets. “The Rottweiler won’t hurt you, even though it looks fierce, but whatever you do, don’t talk to the parrot.”

Randy let himself in and set to work, and the dog just lay quietly on the carpet. But the parrot mocked him mercilessly the whole time.

“Wow, you’re pretty fat,” the bird would say. “Hey, fatso, you couldn’t change the batteries in a flashlight, let alone fix a dishwasher.”

Before long, Randy had had enough. “You know, bird, you think you’re pretty smart for someone with a brain the size of a pea.”

The parrot was silent for a moment, and then, with a gleam in its eye, said, “All right. Get him, Spike.”

Romantic Wrongs
Isn’t it unfair that women love cats? Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come when you call, they like to stay out all night and when they are at home they like to be left alone to sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Basic Needs
A lonely woman buys a parrot for companionship. After a week, the parrot hasn’t uttered a word, so the woman goes back to the pet store and buys it a mirror. Nothing. The next week, she brings home a little ladder. Polly is still incommunicado, so the week after that, she gives it a swing, which elicits not a peep. A week later, she finds the parrot on the floor of its cage, dying. Summoning up its last breath, the bird whispers, “Don’t they have any food at that pet store?”

Bumper Sticker
The great thing about bumper stickers is they give proud parents a chance to boast about their children. The driver of the pickup in front of me was no different. His bumper sticker crowed “My Australian Cattle Dog Is Smarter Than Your Honour Student.”

Subtle Suggestion
A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” The lady was furious, but she continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again, and the parrot once more said, “Hey, lady! You’re really ugly!” She was incredibly ticked now, so she went into the store to complain. The store manager apologized greatly and promised he would make sure the parrot didn’t say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. “Hey, lady!” it said.


“You know.”

Two of a Kind
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears. “What are you?” asks the cat.

“A gnome,” comes the reply. “I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?”

The cat replies, “Um, I’m a gnome.”

Painting Perfection
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.

“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.

“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in our wall.”

Q: Why did the cowboy get a dachshund for a pet?

A: Someone told him to get a long little doggy.

Foul Stress
A sign said, “Do not allow your dog to chase, 
injure, or worry wildlife.” How is a dog going to “worry” wildlife? Run up to a bird: “Hey, I think you’ve got something on your beak. It could be a tumor.”

Cats Are Smarter
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Breeding Doubt
I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?”

My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”

How Lazy is He?
I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don’t chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers.

More Than A Friend
My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum…

I Hide Photos…
I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in 
a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them.

Mixed Messages
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him.

Lochland Grove Admins
 Posted: Jun 14 2017, 10:26 PM
The Admins

The Lochland Times
No. 25Lochland's Most Reliable News June 2017
Your Horoscope
( March 21 - April 19)
Take the time to look back and examine actions and decisions you have made. Reflection will make it easier to spring forward with optimism. Try cleaning your living space to help unclutter your mind.

(April 20 - May 20)
Financial gain has been strong for you lately and will continue to be so. This is a good thing, as there is a high chance that your family will be expanding soon.

(May 21 - June 21)
Your intimate relationships may be shaken this month due to great success in your career. Take time to nurture your connections, They will be with you for good times and bad.

( June 22 - July 22)
Now is when you should be setting aside time for yourself and your own needs. This month focus on your personal health and happiness.
(July 23 - August 22 )
Start fostering your own independence and listen to yourself a lot more. This is going to be a profitable time for you, both financially and personally.

(August 23 - September 22)
It's about to get very busy for you. However, this hectic time is going to bring about much success in your life. Just make sure that you're setting aside enough time to rest and reflect.

(September 23 - October 22)
Try to make improvements on balancing your work life and your love life. Be wary of an old flame that may try to come back into the spotlight.

(October 23 - November 21)
Familial matters should be at the top of the list right now. Don't let your ego get in the way of bringing harmony into your life.
(November 22 - December 21)
Your love interest and social life are going to take on some wild, though positive, turns this month. Keep an eye on other aspects of your life but know that romantic and friendly interests are going to be good.

(December 22 - January 19)
This is going to be a busy time for you. Your personal life will be argumentative and your career is going to take over everything. Be patient and stability will soon return.

(January 20 - February 18)
Everything is going to be looking up for you. Your efforts at work will be noticed and your love life is going to be sweeter than ever.

(February 19 - March 20)
It's going to be quite the balancing act this month. You may find that you're getting pulled in all directions. Lean on your loved ones for support to get you through.
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